Can I have some candy? I’m soooo hungry (as you’re in the checkout lane)
I want a dog.
I just have to have a new outfit for the party Friday night! (and then new jewelry too)
Do your kids get the gimmes too? I think all kids have the gimmes and I know one way to stop them.
Our job as parents is to nurture and care for our children. Nurture does not mean pamper or neglect. If your kids need new pants buy them a new pair of basic pants. I said basic because if your 8 yr old daughter insists on the pair of jeans with pink hearts embroidered on them or your 16 yr old insists on the pair with a designer label they should pay the difference. Our responsibility is simply to provide for their needs. I do agree that extra frills, bells and whistles are nice and make a kid feel special in today’s consumer driven society. These days kids seem to be given much of what they want, whether it’s the jeans or candy at the checkout. Indulgence makes these things no longer special.
When kids decide to invest their own money in something they are showing that they value it. They means they are much more likely to take care of it. At our house extras are special, and stay special, because they aren’t an every day occurrence. That goes for us as parents too. Last week we were on vacation so I bought ice cream at the store for a treat. The last ice cream I bought was back in April. We enjoyed every bit of that ice cream too!
So how do we avoid all the whining for candy at the checkout? We have taught the difference between want and need. When we are at the register and little Turkey says he needs some candy I remind him that he wants candy, not needs candy, and I ask him if he brought his money with him to buy candy. That puts the ball in his court. He talks about taking his money to the store for candy, but it’s never actually happened, so it doesn’t matter enough to him. But he knows that he does have the power to bring his money with him, unlike kids who stand at the register and beg for candy and know that their parents hold complete control over that candy they desire.
Kids need to have control and responsibility over things so they will know how to control and be responsible for them as adults. We provide for their basic needs and the occasional extras. The kids use their own money for any other extras that they feel are “necessary” and learn to value their money and their things in the process.
Next week I’ll talk about how they get money for those extras.
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