3 Simple Ways to Connect With Your Kids

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It’s hard to be a mother of a preschooler.  It’s even harder when there is a younger sibling at home.  The preschool child needs structured play, educational activities and responsibilities.  The younger child only wants to do what the older child does, but doesn’t have the language skills to express it or the physical/mental capacities to participate in the same activities.  The constant bickering, crying and hanging on legs is enough to send anyone into despair.

Recently I’ve been thinking about what attracts me to my best friends. (hang with me and I’ll explain in a bit why this applies to connecting with your kids)  Looking back it’s funny how different all of my besties have been.  But, I can still think of 3 common characteristics that draw me close to and bond me to those best friends.

  1. They make me laugh
  2. They hug me
  3. They take an interest in my life

Of course there are more, but these 3 things stick out in my mind and can apply to all my besties. These 3 things are what I remember and what lift me up emotionally on those tough mommy days.

Image credit: Mattox

I have 2 very dear friends here in TX, both of whom have very different personalities.  One is more reserved and quiet, but she hugs me.  Her hugs remind me that I’m cared for and that I’m not in this alone. Even if we’ve been in a tiff a hug seems to smooth things over and let me know it’s ok to disagree.  She makes me laugh thinking of how much she is like my mother and I, or how I can completely relate to what she’s going through with her kids (our kids are very nearly the same ages). She always takes an interest in what is going on in my life and asks about my husband and kids. Her notice of details shows she appreciates the small things about me.

My other dear friend laughs and makes me laugh.  Nearly every time I hang up the phone I laugh just realizing my phone call for a little question turned into a 40 minute conversation filled with giggles.  Chatting and laughing with her always brightens my day. She always ends our conversations with “Well, what can I do for you?” Not only have I had a great time visiting with her, but she wants to make sure everything is taken care of and well with me. 

Both of these sweet ladies have wonderful relationships with their children, and I’d make an educated guess that it’s because they’re taking the same interest in their children that they’ve taken in my life. I cherish the moments I have with these close friends and I want my children to cherish the moments they have with me. 

I’m thankful that I’ve realized my children probably thrive on the same things. Since I had this revelation about my best friends, I’ve decided to set 3 goals for every day with my kids:

  1. To make them laugh – Isn’t the sound of children’s laughter the most delightful thing ever?
  2. To hug them (even when I’m exhausted, they’re in trouble or I’m not happy with them)
  3. To ask how they’re doing, about their day, or if I can help them with anything

Some days I know I’m not going to feel like making the effort to connect with my kids in even just these 3 simple ways.  But I’m going to continue focusing on the older Family Circus comic strip I have hanging on the bulletin board in my office. It talks about how children seem to take everything from you, but if you hug them, they give it all back. Typically it’s the only thing on my bulletin board just so I can focus on only that thought – accepting my children’s love and giving it in return.

Please join me in taking the time to hug your kids and find a way to make them – and yourself – laugh. Actively get involved in your childrens’ lives, not just involving them in your own.   
3 simple things, with such abundant results.  I think it’s going to be life changing- don’t you?

This post is part of Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!
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Comments

  1. What a beautiful reminder to connect with our children on that level. So often we look at ourselves as life guides, spiritual instructors, teachers, referees, and we are all of those things but we are to nuture our children during this most precious and short time as well. If nothing else, we need to have a good relationship with our children now so when they are picking out a nursing home for us, it’ll be a good one. 😉

  2. S. Davis says:

    Lovely! Birth orders do not always apply, but I was quite surprised as an adult when I looked back on my dating & closest friends – being an only, almost without fail the longest-lasting “other” is a youngest child as well. Curious if that fits at all with you?

  3. Great principles to apply to our relationships with our children.

    I am currently infatuated with my son’s laugh. He’s 16 months old and it is the most precious giggle I’ve ever heard. So I make him laugh constantly. :)

    Mary Beth
    newlifesteward.com

  4. what a wonderful simple idea. Thanks I’m going to try this. I’m pinning to the Sunday Parenting Party board.

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